Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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