smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I believe in your delicious
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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