the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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