I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
