it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
