Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
