i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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