he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
