I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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