But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
