didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
