This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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