My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
