I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
