Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
