I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Couch. On fire.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
