This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
