my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
