Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
