i barfeds in our rink
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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