dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
