what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
