I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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