I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
