we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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