still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
