yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
