I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
