Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
