wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
