i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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