How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
