Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
