I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
