Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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