dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
