Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
