My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
