Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
