i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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