Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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