i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
