I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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