Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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