I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
