Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
