Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
