The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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