Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The Olympian is in my bed
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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