I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Fuck appropriateness.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
