My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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